Natalie and her fairy tale ending

Hi I’m Natalie,
I’m 26 and a year ago you wouldn’t have recognised me, well never had seen me at least as I never went out unless I was with someone. I suffered with depression which I had been battling with for over 8 years.

Every day was the same…

I was at the point where I was numb just plodding along. My days consisted of getting up at 8am getting my daughter ready for school, once she was in school, I came home and climbed back in to bed and got up again at 2.45pm to pick her up. Then I would be a sort of normal person playing with her and making tea until 7pm off to bed she went and I followed. I didn’t go out or do the housework I was only concerned with what I had to do so I could go back to bed.

Being on Wild Transformation Course….

Little did I know it was all about to change, my friend Sue had heard about a course called Wild Transformation and that she was going to go on it and asked if I would come with her so she wasn’t by herself. It was a lovely atmosphere with candles – Clare was lovely welcoming us in. I sat down in the circle wandering what I was doing here. I didn’t talk much- just listened and felt out of place, but began to feel happy there. The next day (day 2) I loved it, don’t think I had ever smiled so much, I was happy in this group talking about life – good things and bad things, but just happy to be in nice company, not be judged and just enjoy myself.

The strangest thing happened…

The following morning the strangest thing happen, at 6am I got up, had a bath and washed my hair ( I hadn’t done it in 3 weeks), and texted every person I knew to tell them how gorgeous I thought they were and for them not to forget it, like I had. Not everyone was happy with the 6am wake up text but I felt great. Wild Transformation that day was great and sad because it was the last day, I wanted to live in the wild bubble for the rest of my life.

When the course was over, I began to make positive changes in my life, and do the exercise Clare had taught us as well as make positivity a part of my life. Good things happened and some bad but it was gorgeous beginning to be in control of my life again. I began dreaming and dreaming BIG. I spent one day on the internet looking for my dreams and printing out pictures of the dream house, car, wedding dress, qualifications, job…. Everything I was dreaming about. Planning my dream vision was the most fun I’d ever had, glitter was everywhere but I was enjoying my life.

Changes were overwhelming…

Changes in me were overwhelming not just for me but for others. I had become a stronger woman not longer plodding along and that scared people, my boyfriend broke up with me and others thought I was on drugs because I was happy. Over the next few weeks we had another meeting with Clare at the Bluecoat in town were we talked about putting into action all our dreams and I felt a bit deflated and couldn’t understand why, Clare sat next to me and rubbed my back telling me that it’s was because I was allowing myself to dream and do things I had convinced myself I would never do. Even now if I ever feel low, I always go back to that moment and I feel better. At the course I remembered my dream job from when I was younger, I wanted to be an accountant but I never did anything about it.

What happened next…

Not longer after finishing the course I enrolled on accounting course which was one year long and to my surprise I didn’t quit half way through like I thought I would, I completed it with grade A, 5 months after starting it. I was so proud of myself for committing to a subject I loved and have enrolled on the second year of the course with hopes, no with plans of completing the whole three year AAT diploma by December 2010. I believe in myself enough that I will do it. The best part is than I love doing the work and studying. I have started applying for jobs now with all my new found confidence and qualifications and know that as soon as I ready my dream job will be waiting for me.

My dream vision now sits in my living room framed as it has all come true. I live in a beautiful house in Warrington, I am studying on the course I’ve wanted to do for years and happy to say I passed the first year in 5months of starting it. I get up at 6.45am every day including weekend to go for a walk through the field by my new house with my daughter and it’s the most amazing time of day, just us too talking about nothing just enjoying each others company.

My boyfriend soon came back and loves the new real me so much more and has since asked me to marry him which will be in 2011 and I have already started my wedding dream board as I cant wait to get that wedding dress out of room 11 and all the other stuff in there waiting for me to pull out of room 11 but as soon I empty one thing I have bigger dreams filling it back up but that’s what room 11 is for putting your dreams and making them real so you can pull them out and live them.

I love my life because I am living my dream. I owe Clare so much, so much more than I could ever express. She inspires me every day to get up and dream big, while spreading Glittery Gorgeousness along the way.