This is Myriams story….a story of self love for Valentines Day and for the little girl she used to be.
Hi, I am Myriam. I am 44 years old. I have 3 childeren 21, 19 and 8 years old. I come from Belgium but I now live in Scotland.
The Little Girl I was…
When I was young I got sexually abused by my brother and a cousin, I also got raped by two strange man. I am a bit wobbly writing this. I was a very quiet litle girl and i didnt get into trouble as i was to scared off my parents. If you didnt listen you got hurt. My parents also sent us away for 3 months to camps and there also I also got hurt- kicked by the carers. Until when I was about 20 years old and then I started to stand up to my parents.
Always i have been looking for something to feel better and I went to the family centre and did some arts and crafts and I also did the cooking they offered. But I needed something for me too . And so one day I met Clare at the family centre when she came in with people from Clackmannashire Work at the council. Clare was talking about her course, all the glitter the chocolate, art and relaxation. So I put my name down for the course. Before the course I had a boring life. I didn’t want to go out – sitting in the house watching the tv most off the day or sleep and as i got osteo arthritis i was just moaning.
Candles and Circles of Healing…
And so I started Wild Transformation in November 2009 . I came in the hall and seeing all the candles put me at ease as I really love candles. Also Clare put me at ease with her voice – one I could listen to all day, she is an amazing story-teller.
So I started my journey and on the second day I got a true break through. I was so scared when Clare was talking about the little girl inside me – I could not and did not like it – as it was really bad memory for me . Also covering my face with the mask was really hard to do. I realise that for me it was a break through and I have been able to release my pain and it gave me a free feeling.
The day after that I was full off energy and I felt different. I also felt the love Clare was giving and that to me is new so I sucked all the love in to myself and started to spread my love also to others. If it wasn’t for me meeting Clare I would be still sitting home doing nothing .
Now I have got a life to go out and spread love, I also started to love myself. I get a lot of compliments that I have changed that I am glowing and that I look good even in jeans and jumper. I do feel better, so much so that I started to build down on my medication with help from the doctor .
And now I have got a room 11 (a room of dreams – from a story clare tells on the Wild Transformation course.) I am going to start college in August to study in childcare. My dream is to be a foster carer. Now my time is getting very limited!!! I go out and walk as I really want to get fit again and the pains in my body are so much better now. I am going to do part of the West Highland Walk with my Wild Transformation group . I am also going to do a First Aid Course. Friends get me through -Facebook Healing!
My journey of being depressed started long ago and it has been a long and hard journey that I was getting used to. Now I see things so different – I can see love and feel it. What is new for me is I know I will get out of my depression -as I have many friends out there helping me and also my sister is a big help.
The friends I made on the course and now through the facebook group has helped me to open up to new things. Before I would not trust people. I was always a very shy person but now I have so much confidence. I chat to friends I have never even met before ! They support me if I get a bad day and I really am greatfull for that as they help me through the bad times.
Thanks to you all…
Life now is wow – it is wonderful. I never thought little things can mean so much for me- seeing the meaning of life and the beauty, grateful of what I have got now and respect for my self and others.
What I also learned from the course is about all the things I want in life and that only me can do it and only me can change the things for the better. I am so exited I feel these days I have got so much trust in myself that I do talk up for my self now. I go and look for things to do and most important of all is that I even love myself !
But I want to thank Clare for the inspiration for life and love.
My Juicy Tip…
My tip to you reading this would be – Do not sit back and wait till someone comes to look for you – but go for yourself – its only you that can change your own life.
.…. about that little girl inside me – now she is so much happier and it was wonderful to learn how I could get in touch with her in me – I feel so safe now…..oh and I am shining – my new life started and I am going for it this time !